YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW

I JUST DO NOT GET MY HEART IS SO BIG AND IM NOT RICH BUT WHEN I OPEN MY SELF, MY HOME, AND ANYTHING NEEDED. I GET SOMETHING I NEED VERY MUCH STOLEN FROM ME INSTEAD OF ASKING ME. BECAUSE HELL IF YOU NEED SOMETHING THAT BAD...ITS YOURS! I HAVE BEEN IN A DARKNESS LATELY BECAUSE IM JUST SICK OF BITING MY TONGUE WHILE OTHERS DONT. AND THEY FEEL THEY CAN TALK ANY KIND OF WAY THEY WANT TO ME. WELL GUESS WHAT. NOT ANYMORE WILL MARISA BE YOUR DOORMAT. NOT ANYMORE WILL MARISA BE THE ONE TO RUN YOU AROUND OR GGO OUT OF MY WAY TO HELP YOU CUZ WHO HELPS ME????? VERY FEW HAVE HELPED ME AND I LOVE AND RESPECT THEM SO DEEPLY BUT IM JUST AT A BREAKING POINT. OF WHY STAY SOBER? I  CANT DEAL WITH ALL THESE EMOTIONS AND PEOPLE WHO JUST LIE TO MY FACE AND GET WHAT THEY CAN FROM ME, OH AND DONT FORGET THE ONES WHO FEEL ITS NEEDED TO TALK TO MY HUSBAND..YEAH HANG UP CUZ YOU HAVE NO REASON TO EVEN TALK TO HIM ABOUT ME. I DONT GO AND TALK TO YOUR HUSBANDS OR BOYFRIEND SO WHY TALK TO MINE?? UGH BAD DAY BAD WEEK ACTUALLY. OK VENT OVER.. <3

SHUTTING DOWN

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO IT NEVER MAKES OTHERS HAPPY. THIS WEEK HAS BEEN THE HARDEST WEEK TO GET THROUGH. JUST BECAUSE I SMILE DOESNT MEAN MY HEART IS. I JUST AVE SO MUCH GOING ON ITS HARD SOMEDAYS TO KEEP GOING. ITS BETTER TO JUST SLEEP IT OFF. BUT THE FIRST THING TO DO IS NO LONGER MY FIRST CHOICE AND THATS TO GET HIGH. BUT I DO TEND TO SHUT DOWN AND JUST STAY TO MYSELF. ITS EASIER THAT WAY FOR ME TO JUST SHUT DOWN AND BOTTLE EVERYTHING INSIDE BECAUSE WHO WANTS TO HEAR MY PROBLEMS WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR OWN TO DEAL WITH.