He was 25 I was 18 and never had a boyfriend before. He gave a like a rush. I found me a bad boy. He was my first and the first person to force drugs on me. I lost myself that year all because of him. I remember driving around all day and night stealing bottles to make money so he can get high. Then one day he said either get out in the snow and cold or snort this line of heroin. I refused and got out then he followed me and I did it. I threw up 8 times. I will never forget. I hated it. Then i smoked weed and ate everything in his house. Drank my first drink. I lost the respect of my family and friends because of him. He would stalk me and go to my families house honking his horn outside until i came out and of course I did. Finally my grandfather had enough. He put me on a plane and sent me to my moms house in california. Just to get me away from this guy. I love my papa for that. Hes one old man you dont mess with.
So here I am in california still searching for love for acceptance for someone to think I was beautiful. I soon found the right/wrong crowd with my baby sister and Crank was the drug to do. I still have shame I am dealing with for getting high with my sister but thank god her life turned out to be amazing and drug free. But not me. I would go to the bay area and just get dropped off with no place to go but it wouldnt take long to find that crowd. And I did. I slept in cars, on mattresses in the woods behind apartment buildings, in laundrymats and smokes crank aka meth. I didnt like that drug much and that life was not me. So i made enough money to get back on the bus and head back to chicago. When I think about it to this day I still can Not believe I lived a life as I did. Oh but that was nothing compared to the life that I lived thats yet to come, it was the life that forever molded me and changed me into who I am today and how I even was so blessed to have this life I have today, but thats another day.
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