Let the journey begin..

I think the one thing that really woke me up was losing custody of my children. It killed me inside to where I really did not care anymore. I fought to get them back but I was alone with no help to comply with a case plan at 8 months pregnant. Then since they had my 4 year old son they were talking my newborn daughter to. She was 4 days old when they took her. Actually they had to hold me down and ripped her from my arms while breast feeding her. I use to get high to feel numb and not cry everyday. Getting high would fill that void but I know that nothing could replace your children but by the time I figured it out, my addiction had swallowed me whole. Its easier said then done when people would say of course with out knowledge go get your life together, go get your kids. I wish is was that easy. I fought and complied with the case plan but the worker hated me and would say I was not doing what I suppose to. I even went and found a job that would hire me 8 months pregnant but had to let me go because I was a risk for them. So after they took my daughter, I died inside. And this is the first time I am able to talk about it because well my life is different today but I'll get to that.