Here is a poem I wrote years ago when I took my first steps in recovery....

When you look at me, what do you see..
Can you see the years of tears that I cried..
Can you remember all the lies that I lied..
Do you want to know any of the secrets that I hide..
When you look at me, what do you see..
Can you see the scars upon my skin or..
Can you hear them as the scream more from deep within.
Do you know of anything I have been through..
Can you see who I see when I look at you..
When you look at me, what do you see..
Can you feel the intense love that boils inside of me..

Can you taste my fears when your lips touch mine..

Do you care to know about all the darkness in my life..

When you look at me, what do you see..

Can you smell the blood my addiction bleeds..

Can you understand the hunger, feel the need..

Do you know what really lives in me..

When you look at me, what do you see..

Can you see the look in his eyes as he raped me..

Can you taste the sweat of his hunger and fear..

Do you know every day I feel him as if he were still here..

When you look at me, what do you see..

Can you see the things I've seen, feel the hate I felt..

Can you understand what Ive got behind my belt..

So many years, So many lonely nights, So many wishing to just give up the fight..

Will this pain in my heart stop screaming..

Will I have a life with meaning..

Many don't understand the cry less cry's I unload..

I am to weak to hold on, to strong to let go..

When you look at me, what do you see..

Now that I've let you see this addiction that lives deep in me?

by marisa april 2010 @copywritten